Intimacy Coaching
Coaching through the 12 RelationSHIP Skills, exploring
Intimacy Skills in greater depth, with Esther Perel’s Rekindling Desire Course
As you know, the Science of Relationships flips many of the things we believed about love on their head; many of the things that have held us back from loving fully and being deeply loved. Using a combination of video summaries and face-to-face Zoom sessions, this outline shows how we can explore Esther Perel’s Rekindling Desire Course, within the context of the 12 RelationSHIP Skills, in particular the four habits to avoid and the three skillsets that enable relationships to thrive.
To gain the most from Esther Perel’s Rekindling Desire course, we discussed working through her video programme, setting it within the context of the 12 evidence-based RelationSHIP Skills. I have drafted a programme below, detailing how we could work with her material and mine simultaneously, alongside the RelationSHIP Skills.
The proposed programme is in six parts. Each part includes:
One Zoom coaching session 60 mins on the RelationSHIP Skills
30-40 minutes of video content on the RelationSHIP Skills
30-60 minutes’ of video content before each session on Rekindling Desire
One Zoom coaching session 60-90 mins on the material in the Rekindling Desire Course.
Each part includes two coaching sessions and several videos, ideally covered over the course of a fortnight, to allow time to reflect on the videos before each session, although we can also cover the material over six weeks, if you prefer or six months, if you’d like to go deeper.
Individual coaching sessions £200. A programme of 6-12 coaching sessions, covering the material below £1200 and each set of six sessions thereafter £600. A programme of 26 coaching sessions, incorporating the material below and including a Vision Portrait £2500.
Proposed Coaching Programme:
PART ONE:
Love’s Not Fated; We Create it
What is Love? What makes a good RelationSHIP? How can Art and Science help us love for a lifetime? an overview of the RelationSHIP Skills and a self-assessment of your strengths and challenges, to gain a holistic view of what you want for the next six weeks. [Watch Cathy’s summary video - approx 40 mins]
Understanding Eroticism
Initial Assessment (to be done individually); Defining Desire as owning the wanting; Sexuality vs Eroticism - the poetics of sex; What is an erotic couple? Connecting to your erotic self; expanding the definition of sex [Watch Esther’s Welcome video and five videos in Part One of Rekindling Desire - approx 1 hr. Send screenshot of assessments individually and come ready with your reflections on the videos.]
PART TWO:
Strengthen your friendship
The five planks of FriendSHIP. Why Responding is essential for bonding, trusting and respecting one another and how empathy unlocks the door into each other’s worlds. [Watch Cathy’s Summary video - approx 45 mins]
Sexual Communication
Communicating sexual preferences; sexuality verbs; Generative communication [Watch Esther’s 3 videos in Part Two of Rekindling Desire - approx 25 mins and come ready with your reflections.]
PART THREE:
Relationship survival skills
How can you avoid the four relationship killers? What are the antidotes that melt the Icebergs of criticism, defensiveness, contempt and emotional disengagement? [Watch Cathy’s Summary video - approx 30 mins]
Obstacles to Desire
Conflict, trauma and fear; sociocultural framework; physical barriers; breaches of trust; erotic blocks; connecting with your body; jealousy [Watch Esther’s videos in Part Three of Rekindling Desire - approx 45 mins and come ready with your reflections.]
PART FOUR:
Fill your treasure chests
Find out what your Love Currency is and if you’re filling your partner’s treasure chest. How can Affection and Admiration turn everything around? What does it mean to Treasure your time together? [Watch Cathy’s summary video - approx 30 mins]
Breaking Routine
The essence of romance is uncertainty; creating an erotic environment; foreplay; desire needs mystery; fantasy and imagination [Watch Esther’s videos in Part Four of Rekindling Desire - approx 35 mins and come ready with your reflections.]
PART FIVE:
How to solve problems
How to Heal your relationship wounds and avoid creating new ones, Solve the problems that can be solved and stay Open to turning conflict into deeper connection and passion - the wind in the sails of your relationship.
Sex after children
When three threatens two; How to get back into your groove; Reconnecting after Kids; [Watch Esther’s three videos in Part Five of Rekindling Desire - approx 35 mins and come ready with your reflections.]
PART SIX:
Your relationship vision
Discover your Purpose – create a clear vision for your relationship and Navigate your way to Happily-Ever-Island together. [Watch Cathy’s visioning videos and exercises - approx 2 hours]
Resources
Working through the final assessment in the Rekindling Desire Programme and any further resources you’ve used and valued. [Take final assessment and take screen shot before the session, approx 15 mins]
“You haven’t got anything to lose with this... it’s positive and beautiful and empowering... but until you try it, you don’t know, so if your other half is skeptical, just ask them to trust you... it’s well worth the investment.”
“Every week I was blown away. Every week I learnt something new about how we communicate with each other, how we can be more present with each other, how we can avoid the four icebergs that are detrimental to our relationship. This should be imperative for anyone who’s going to be in a relationship... Had we done this, we would never have had the pain and trauma we had before... This is life changing. Everybody... every human being, regardless of relationship status, should take this programme. That’s how I feel. I love it!”
“Relationship coaching has filled me with positivity. I woke up singing. It’s really powerful - visioning is about alignment - you align towards what’s important to you.”
“Cathy is a wondrous, beautiful, magnetic, magical person… she is intuitive and has designed a very powerful, meaningful course that will change people’s lives 100% for the better.”
“It’s like someone finally telling me the alphabet of a language I’ve been speaking for a long time. Suddenly intimacy becomes very clear.”
“I was in a place where I was struggling to find the positives in my relationship… I found it really helpful to work through how I could deal with things differently … this knowledge has greatly increased my own happiness and improved my relationship.”
“Cathy is so incredibly talented at literally drawing out of you what’s already inside - things about your hopes and dreams, things that help give you perspective and change the way you do life... now every decision I make is with my end goals in mind. On top of all this, Cathy is an outstanding artist. Her art work speaks for itself but these two talents combined will make your encounter with Cathy a very powerful experience and will mean that you will have something beautiful to remind you of yourself, your properties and vision for generations to come.”
CATHY GARNER - THE RELATIONSHIP ARTIST - CATHY@CATHYGARNER.COM